John Adams on Being Scattered

Here is a page from the third diary of John Adams, page 2, 1759:

The Difference between a whole Day and a divided scattered Day.

[Query]. Can any Man take a Book in his hand, in the Morning, and confine his Thoughts to that till Night. Is not such a Uniformity tiresome? Is not Variety more agreable, and profitable too? Read one Book one Hour, then think an Hour, then Exercise an Hour, then read another Book an Hour, then dine, smoke, walk, cutt Wood, read another Hour loud, then think, &c. and thus spend the whole day in perpetual Variations,  [illegible]  from Reading to thinking, Exercise, Company, &c. But what is to be acquired by this Wavering Life, but a Habit of Levity, and Impatience of Thought?

I never spent a whole Day upon one Book in my Life.

What is the Reason that I cant remove all Papers and Books from my Table, take one Volume into my Hands, and read it, and then reflect upon it, till night, without wishing for my Pen and Ink to write a Letter, or taking down any other Book, or thinking of the Girls? Because I cant command my attention. My Thoughts are roving from Girls to friends, from friends to Court, to Worcester, to Piscataquay, Newbury, and then to Greece and Rome, then to France, from Poetry to oratory, and Law, and Oh, a rambling, Imagination. Could I fix my attention, and keep off every fluttering Thought that attempts to intrude upon the present subject, I could read a Book all Day. Wisdom, curse on it, will come soon or late.

I have to smooth and harmonise my Mind, teach every Thought within its Bounds, to roll, and keep the equal Measure of the Soul.

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One amusing this about this entry is that Adams turned his diary sideways to write the entry, as if wanting to try a new perspective, one of "perpetual variations." Another is that we see a young Adams here who wants to be more focused, who is frustrated that he can't be more disciplined and...not think about "Girls?" This is before he married Abigail, which would be in 1764.

I love diary entries like these, because it makes the writers more human. And of course, John Adams is one of my favorite figures from American history, flaws and all, and I enjoy seeing this side of him, which I can VERY much relate to.